comedian in chief

wow, dubya thinks he’s a comedian now. heh heh. here’s a pretty funny video of prez o. dent doing his schtick in front of the press, hosted on rush limbaugh’s website. ya know, it’s good to see that bushie poo still has a sense of humor. and i finally get this guy now. everything is just one big joke to him. and guess what the punchline will be at the end? nukyular war! boo ya! on a more serious note, aw hell... i can’t be serious at a time like this! the world is going to hell in a handbasket and all i can do is laugh my ass off cuz humor is the only way to cope with this shit. that is why the best news shows are the daily show and colbert report, and the best news website is theonion.com. reality is far too depressing for anyone to actually deal with, which is why 100% of the human race create our own internal mental fantasylands, and expel the evil reality from our brains. there is not one person who is able to deal with reality without at least rejecting some small part of reality and believing in some nonsense instead. that is why most books are fiction, why we watch movies, to escape reality, even though there is no escape, only self-delusion in the short term and death in the long run. but humor is the antidote to the foul poison of reality. jokes are the only way to preserve sanity and avoid believing in complete absurdities. so it is an excellent sign to see the president treating everything like one big joke. hopefully, joking around will help introduce some critical thinking into his mind and help him question things a little more, so he gets more of a handle on reality. i know that for me, nothing is more enlightening than comedy, and this president, being quite low on any sort of understanding of reality, could really use some enlightenment about it. if someone you disagree with makes an argument seriously, you just get angry and look for holes in the argument and try your best to prove them wrong. but if they tell a joke to make their point... well... that is how you win people over. i propose humor protests and joke-ins. comedy is the most honest form of communication. there is no political correctness. once somebody gets offended by comedy and expresses outrage, they have gotten all serious, making them uncool in the eyes of comedy. the proper form of response is an even funnier ridicule of whoever offended you. comedy lets you know how someone really thinks, and not the front that they put on all the time, the fake persona they adopt. comedy doesn’t even require a comedian. you can laugh at someone else’s misfortune. that is better than feeling sorry for people. then, whenever something bad happens, at least someone will be happy. according to the utilitarian philosophy, then, since we want to maximize everyone’s happiness, nobody should ever take anything seriously, and everything should be one big joke. so how is this post comedy? isn’t it serious, despite talking about comedy? no... look closer. this entire post, in fact, everything on this entire blog, in every post, it is all one big joke! even my name is a joke! numinous ubiquity! what the hell does that mean? well, if you look up the 2 words in a dictionary, you’ll see it doesn’t make a lick of sense! but you want to know why that is funny? the reason the joke is so funny, is because nobody ever gets it! the real joke is on the reader! the real joke is on you, for reading this drivel! and yet you continue, despite knowing that you are being a retard by reading this crap! maybe you think it is good? even more laughable! some of my recent posts have provoked some pretty hilarious responses. after i dissed on mel gibson for hating the jews, some people dissed on me and said how great mel gibson was, and how awful jews are. what a joke! i can’t believe people dumb enough to say that shit exist! when i look at the comments on my blog, they are all so retarded! sure, everything i say is retarded, but the comments are always even worse. i have tricked you all into making fools of yourselves, by goading you into saying stupid shit on the internet. one recent comment was about my bad grammar and lack of capitalization, and about how the person who left the comment is anal retentive and obsessed with grammar. what a joke! i use bad grammar on purpose, just to get a rise out of people like that! and why do i write in lowercase? that is to de-emphasize everything i say, to let people know not to take it seriously. i mean duh. so yeah, bush... greatest president ever! i salute you, you silly ape, you anti-intellectual ivy leaguer from connecticut who pretends to be from texas and even has the accent! you really did a great job flying planes for the military during the vietnam war, you dope! won any elections lately? funny how the new electronic voting machines don’t leave paper trails... are they evil robots from the future? at least your twin daughters are hot, cuz they are dumber than rocks! hey good job bringing democracy to the middle east... hamas and mahmoud ahmadenijad say thanks. and as for hezbollah? who would have thought killing hundreds of people over 2 who were kidnapped was a fair trade? fuzzy math! the 2 who were kidnapped must be super-human, to be worth so much in terms of regular human lives. so why don’t they use their super-human super-powers to escape from their captors, eh? our bush baby president has been bushwhacked, bush league. better shave laura’s bush. how come the most powerful person in the world is the biggest loser in the world? imagine what that means for the rest of us, since that makes all of us even worse losers, for living on the same planet as him. at least we weren’t male cheerleaders at yale, and don’t play dress-up on aircraft carriers to pretend to be gi joe when we are really pansy-ass pink boys. bush not only tells jokes, he is a joke himself. he is the alpha and the omega of comedy, the beginning and the end, the funniest man who ever lived. when the fema director is incompetent, it is a scandal, but when the president is incompetent, people take pride in it. let’s just give our ports away to the people who attacked us on 9/11, put the terrorists in charge of port security. genius! now as one last exercise, i want you to watch the next few times bush is on c-span giving speeches, and listen carefully to each of the speeches, and each one of them is a treasure trove of comedy, full of misstatements, switching around two words, hilarious inconsistencies, and side-splitting ironies that totally go against how his administration behaves. if you look at the gap between his rhetoric when he talks, and what his administration actually does, it is enormous, which is what makes his speeches that attempt to be serious end up sounding ridiculous. like when he talks about democracy... classic! or when he talks about fighting terrorism.... brilliant! if only he could put his money where his mouth is, or, failing that, his foot.