god got sued

ok, so a nebraska state senator has sued god. it is in wikinews, the associated press, fox news, and wired news. in the lawsuit, state senator ernie chambers of nebraska accuses god and his followers of making numerous terrorist threats against him and his constituents, and of countless natural disasters causing untold death and suffering to humanity. i am all for this lawsuit even though it is obviously just one big joke, since the defendant is a fictional character. now all the time there are articles about atheism. here is one on the washington post, and here is one from an awful evil republican website called worldnetdaily.com. basically the point of the articles is this: atheism has been getting more and more popular since the attacks of september 11, 2001, because people are realizing that religion is evil and is ruining everything. ok, here are some examples from the recent news about how evil and stupid religion is: the polygamist leader warren jeffs is in charge of a cult known as the fundamentalist church of latter day saints, an offshoot of mormonism that still practices polygamy. and of course, people in this evil cult of warren jeffs do awful things to each other. it has been all over the news lately. osama bin laden put out a new video recently. he is evil, and a devout muslim. and his terrorist followers are all very evil, and very devout muslims. and madonna was in israel recently and declared herself an “ambassador for judaism”, even though she is not a jew and never was, and is instead a follower of some superstitious bullshit nonsense called kabbalah that comes from judaism. and jewish rabbis have condemned her for studying kabbalah and said it is forbidden to non-jews. madonna is an idiot and so are these rabbis! who cares about this kabbalah bullshit? and what about scientology and tom cruise and john travolta and all those other idiot followers of l. ron hubbard? that is a bunch of bullshit too, and they are all idiots. scientologists have to pay tons of money to their stupid cult, just to gain access to secret bullshit so they can brainwash themselves into even bigger idiots. and what about the republicans and their stupid fundamentalist christianity that teaches them to hate people who are different from them such as homosexuals but also including many other groups? rather than fighting injustice and intolerance, fundamentalist christians promote bigotry and hatred, and they are very closely tied to the republican party. so senator larry craig, the gay homosexual faggot from idaho who likes kinky butt sex up the ass, pled guilty to trying to solicit gay sex in the men’s room of a minneapolis airport a few months ago, and he got all up in the news for lying and claiming he was innocent and not a flaming homosexual. what bugs me is not that this guy is totally gay, but that he is a hypocrite and a liar, who hates homosexuals because he is part of the christian fundamentalist belief system that teaches people to hate homosexuals, and that even though he himself is a homosexual, he has to lie to himself and everyone around him, and he still can’t get over his own bigotry and prejudice. meanwhile, another republican senator, david vitter, has been fucking prostitutes, but none of the republicans wanted him to resign, even though that shit is totally illegal. republicans just can’t stand gay people like larry craig, mark foley, ted haggard, jeff gannon, and probably thousands of other right-wing self-hating-homosexual political hacks like those losers. the fact remains that plenty of high-ranking republicans are gays, and republicans, no matter how much they hate gays, cannot eliminate them all, because these republican homos are so good at staying in the closet and pretending to be straight. i don’t hate gays but i do hate republicans because they are hypocrites and they are evil and they have ruined this country and their entire ideology is based on hatred of anyone who is different, and greed for wealth and power, and pretending to be moral and righteous when really they are the most immoral of all. now, i do not really hate all republicans, just some, and i do not hate them that strongly, just a bit. i know most republicans are just brainwashed into it. it is like a cult. you see, all religions are just like cults. the big established religions just have a lot more members and are able to intimidate people into not criticizing them by accusing them of being bigots. muslims accuse people of islamophobia, jews accuse people of anti-semitism, and christians really haven’t come up with a good term to label those who criticize christianity yet, but they are probably working on it. anyway, i see no difference between any of these religions or cults. and the republican party is so closely tied to the cult of right-wing christian fundamentalism that the republican party itself is basically a cult. a cult of personality. a cult of pretending to believe in so-called “conservative principles” that are little more than window dressing for bigotry and greed, an ideology of divide and conquer, of promoting hatred against those who are different, and letting rich people keep all their money, and doing nothing at all to help those who need it. osama bin laden could talk about his islamist principles and how noble and righteous they are, but would you be gullible enough to believe his bullshit? of course not, unless you are a terrorist or something like that. in all of osama bin laden’s videos, he acts like he is the most noble and righteous person in the world, and like he is leading the fight against evildoers, who he defines as anyone who opposes his extremist version of islam. but even if we ignore the extremist and fundamentalist and hateful versions of all the religions of the world, and ignore all the dangerous and stupid and wacky cults out there, if we just look at the religions that preach tolerance and peace and nonviolence and social justice, well that stuff is all well and good, but i still do not agree with their wacky beliefs about supernatural powers! i am all for the quakers spreading peace and tolerance and nonviolence and love and all of that. but leave god out of it! leave jesus out of it! leave allah and mohammad and l. ron hubbard out of it! leave the kabbalah out of it! leave out the stuff about ufos and aliens and human cloning that the raelians believe in! look... when he was alive, jesus christ tried to spread a message of peace and love and tolerance, and he befriended those who society wrongly condemned, such as prostitutes and tax collectors. do you really think jesus would hate gay people? where do these right-wing christian fundamentalists get off? their entire belief system is bullshit, because if jesus were alive today he would condemn them and everything they stand for. jesus believed in sharing and helping out those who are less fortunate. jesus believed in socialism. he did not advocate letting the wealthy keep all their money while the working poor don’t have any health care. the republicans in congress and the white house and those who are running for president are trying as hard as they can to keep america’s uninsured from getting access to quality health care. the white house has promised to veto a bill that would help get health insurance to children. not even adults! just kids! that would be cheap! but republicans would rather let poor kids die from lack of insurance than show any signs of human decency. and i have not seen michael moore’s new movie “sicko”, but i do know that cuba has pretty much the best health care system of any third-world country with a per capita income as low as it is there. rudy giuliani has said that hillary clinton’s new health care proposal is european-style socialized medicine and not what’s right for america. well guess what? europeans are not complaining about their health care system and saying it gives them too much coverage, and asking to have less coverage like those of us here in the united states! europeans are not asking for their politicians to put an end to socialized medicine! on the contrary, they love socialized medicine and any politician over there who takes a stance against it has basically committed political suicide. health care costs in the united states are going up much faster than inflation and people cannot afford it and neither can businesses and it is insanity to say that our system is better than what they have in developed nations in europe. i personally am having to get off expensive prescription drugs and go onto cheaper ones instead to treat my panic attacks and anxiety, because my new insurance that i am paying for myself (with help from my parents) does not cover mental health at all. and does my job offer health insurance? i think it offers a plan that is cheaper than what i have now, but with even less coverage. i need drugs dammit! now who is going to pay for my drugs? i am paying money to an hmo every month but it won’t pay for anything because everything is too damn expensive! and the republicans think we have the best health care system in the world! ha! maybe for wealthy assholes like them the system works! you know this blackwater security company, this private army of ex-special ops soldiers who used to be in the u.s. military, who just got kicked out of iraq? their ceo is a billionaire who inherited all his money from his dad. i hate people like that!!! seriously, i really do!!! and this asshole used to be a navy seal or a marine or some kind of special ops soldier or something. and his dad basically bankrolled the evil asshole james dobson and his organization focus on the family. james dobson and focus on the family are an incredibly evil organization of right-wing christian fundamentalist zealots and bigots who basically should do the world a favor and commit suicide because all they ever do is make things on this planet worse, not better, and we would be better off without them living on this planet with us. oh, and did i mention fred phelps, the evil evil pastor of the westboro baptist church in kansas? he is like the evillest of all the christian fundamentalist preachers. he even hates the united states because he says we are a nation of “fag enablers”, and says we are all going to hell. i think people like fred phelps capture the true essence of religion and demonstrate to everyone the true nature of religion, what religion is all about. isn’t it really all about hate? but the only religion that actually comes out and admits that it’s all about hate is the church of the subgenius. we subgenii hate the pinks, and everyone who is not a subgenius is a pink. pretty much all religions teach their followers that their religion is good and anyone who is opposed to it or does anything against it is bad and evil, and that people who are followers of it are better than everyone else, and that all the other religions are wrong and only their religion is right. you know, right-wing christian fundamentalists are correct about all religions except one. they are correct that judaism is wrong, correct that islam is wrong, correct that hinduism is wrong, correct that buddhism is wrong, correct that scientology is wrong, correct that zoroastrianism is wrong, correct that all non-christian religions are wrong. unfortunately, they are blind to the fact that their own religion is just as wrong as all those other false religions. a true subgenius knows that the church of the subgenius is yeti nother false religion, and that all its teachings are complete bullshit, but chooses to follow it anyway, not in spite of the teachings being false but because they are false. a subgenius embraces the false beliefs with full knowledge that they are completely wrong. the ultimate purpose of this enterprise is to win back the slack stolen away by the conspiracy, or, in layman’s terms, to parody and make fun of the rest of the world and pretend you are better than everyone else, which is a parody of how other religions are full of followers who actually believe they are better than everyone else, except because the subgenius knows that the whole thing is one big joke and nothing but bullshit (or as we prefer to call it, bulldada), the subgenius actually realizes that they are not really better than anyone else, and it is because of this humility that the subgenius actually is better than everyone else. the pink, the person who is not a subgenius, is not as humble, and is not willing to admit that all their beliefs are basically bullshit (excuse me, bulldada). the subgenius savior is j. r. “bob” dobbs, a fictional character just like god, who is admired not for his good traits but for his flaws, his sacred follies. as the saying goes, “bob” makes a million bucks every time he makes a mistake, and boy does he ever make a lot of mistakes. he is the greatest salesman who ever lived, or perhaps the greatest salesman who never lived. by worshipping “bob” in pursuit of slack, the subgenius abandons rationality and pursues stupidity, with complete awareness of what is going on, complete understanding of how stupid and pointless it is. there is no such thing as enlightenment or higher awareness or a spiritual realm or an eternal soul. god is actually called jhvh-1 and is an evil space alien from some corporate sin galaxy, and in 1953, in the divine emaculation of “bob”, j. r. “bob” dobbs saw a great vision while being electrocuted by an amateur television set of his own design, and made a covenant with the men from planet x, the x-ists, to have all the subgenii of the world liberated on pleasure saucers by alien sex goddesses on july 5, 1998 at 7:00 am. while this may seem like a stupid and ridiculous belief, at least nobody actually believes it, we just pretend to. so we are better than all those fools who actually believe nonsense like if they fly a plane into the world trade center they will get to fuck 72 virgins because allah loves mass murderers like the prophet muhammad, peace be upon him, wrote in the koran. you know, terrorists actually believe they go to heaven for killing innocent people, and they think their victims are the ones who go to hell. in reality, heaven and hell are both made up, and we need to find out who these potential mass murderers are before they kill, so we can kill them before they kill us. atheism is god’s honest truth. in fact, i am going to go out on a limb here and say that not only is god a fictional character, but so is “bob”! now i have committed heresy against my own religion! the punishment for heresy is sainthood, so now i am a subgenius saint. what other religion operates in such a peculiar manner? the church of the flying spaghetti monster? i am starting to think that maybe god does exist after all, though, because i just noticed that he has a blog. sure, god shares his blog with some other gods too, but i guess that just means they all exist. let’s all worship zeus, or thor, or ra! who cares? it is not like anything we do will change reality. whether or not any of these gods or bobs exist, nothing we do will change the situation of their existence of non-existence. and if there really were an all-powerful god, do you really think he would be dependent upon people believing in him for his continued existence? would he really have such a frail ego that he would require constant praise, and that anyone who questioned him would have to be severely punished? why should god even care about us? what have we ever done for him? he probably tells the terrorists to attack us and unleashes natural disasters on us for fun, just to enjoy watching our suffering. that is why i am glad somebody finally sued the bastard. i am just surprised it happened in nebraska, of all places. anyway, it is fucked up that the u.s. military is being privatized and our soldiers are quitting to join private mercenary armies like this blackwater group, and then our own state department hires this blackwater group of psycho assholes to be their security, and the blackwater bastards go on a couple killing sprees against innocent civilians, and then it turns out the blackwater people are not accountable to any law, not iraqi law or american law or even international law. why the hell does our government need to hire private mercenaries instead of just using our own goddamn soldiers like normal? these mercenaries are paid much higher salaries than our soldiers. there ought to be a law against the united states government using private mercenaries. we have a military so we might as well fucking use it. you know what? even god agrees with me. and so does “bob”. why should some psycho who inherited over a billion dollars from his wacko christofascist james-dobson-bankrolling daddy get to have his own private mercenary army with close connections to the republican party, and then have the u.s. government pay his conspiracy corporation taxpayer cash money in exchange for having the blackwater bastards shoot people dead? to hell with blackwater! i am glad the iraqis kicked them out! i hope the iraqis kick the u.s. military out of their sorry excuse of a country. it used to be a halfway decent country until we totally fricken destroyed everything. they have more than half the population unemployed, like maybe 4 hours of electricity a day, no clean running water, and everywhere there are people trying to kill you, no matter who you are! i guess the national rifle association is happy though. everyone in iraq has guns, so according to the wacko theories of the n.r.a., iraq is the safest country in the world, since everyone has a gun for self-defense. i guess that means gun control laws are bad and we should vote republican because jesus says so. then again, muhammad is telling us to be suicide bombers and blow up infidels. i guess that proves that religion is a good thing, and the 9/11 hijackers should be admired as heroes because of their religious faith. anyone who has plenty of religious faith, like a terrorist, is obviously a model citizen and someone who should be admired. that is why i love hearing presidential candidates talk about how faithful they are in their various religions. if only the presidential candidates had as much religious faith as the terrorists! then they could really be righteous, like james dobson, or the guy who owns the blackwater group, or fred phelps, or george w. bush, or osama bin laden! faith is good! since faith is the exact opposite of logic, and logic is an evil tool of the devil, faith is obviously good. praise god! i hope he wins that lawsuit against that evil heathenous nebraska state senator. remember, jesus votes republican, and god hates fags. praise “bob”!