spam recipes

hahaha... if you have google’s email service “gmail”, and you go to your “spam” folder, google shows you contextual ads near the top of the screen for spam recipes. french fry spam casserole. yummmmmmy... not! does anyone actually LIKE spam who isn’t a paid spokesperson of hormel corporation or a member of monty python? i think not! luckily i didn’t click on the link to the french fry spam casserole recipe, because then i would have vomited all over my keyboard, and gotten little bits of vomit stuck down in the crevices between the keys, while the stomach acid would dissolve the circuits and short-out the keyboard and the computer, making the whole thing explode in flames. and computers are dangerous beasts... i have heard tales of cd-rom drives gone bad, that send cds flying across the room so fast and at so many rpms, they cut through walls, like ninja throwing stars! and if you open up a computer’s power supply or its monitor, you will probably be electrocuted so badly it causes cardiac arrest. adding spam to that equation just makes a bad situation worse, and makes computers even more dangerous. capacitors kill, and so does spam, if it makes you vomit and short-circuit a system with giant capacitors in it. and never stand directly in front of a cd-rom or cd-rw or dvd or combo drive, especially a fast one like a 52x. because if there is a cd spinning inside there, and it decides to eject before the cd stops spinning, that cd can chop your head clean off, if you position your neck right in front of the drive at the crucial moment. somebody could probably write a virus that would infect the flash memory chip that stores the firmware of a cd drive to turn it into a killing machine. so watch out! such a virus could easily be spread through spam. spam email, that is. someone could also write a virus that would use a software interface to overclock the motherboard and cpu to the point where the whole thing bursts into flames and explodes, which could also be spread via spam, and this would be most dangerous to users of laptops, especially auto mechanics who are covered in gasoline and motor oil. so don’t send me any spam or any spam recipes!