a few things to note

mitt romney dropped out of the race and now john mccain has sealed the deal as republican nominee for president. mike huckabee and ron paul are both still officially in the race, but are so far behind in delegates and in the polls, they have no chance. in his concession speech in front of the c.p.a.c. (conservative political action conference) he was a douchebag and said democrats would surrender in the war on terror. the crazy assholes who make up the c.p.a.c. audience booed when mitt romney said he was dropping out of the race, and they also booed john mccain when he gave a speech (especially when john mccain talked about immigration), and they booed a speech by ron paul when ron paul talked about how the war in iraq was unjustified and there were no weapons of mass destruction. but the c.p.a.c. extremists loved george w. bush when he came there to give a speech, and actually chanted “4 more years” when he took the stage, essentially showing that they preferred the current president to any of the people now running for president to replace him, and would be willing to destroy the constitution to keep him in office if that were possible. this is despite fresh news that bush’s poll numbers are now the lowest they have ever been. these true believers are like brainwashed cultists, and are very sad and pathetic.

in other news, some people are accusing barack obama supporters of being like brainwashed cultists, too. like people at abc news, time magazine, and even a barack obama supporter at the la times. you want me to clear up this mystery of why some people act so nutty about barack obama? it is because he inspires people so much and they like him so much, they are willing to do anything to get him elected, but are confused about what if anything they can do, and feel slightly helpless since they are just 1 person in a country of 300 million people, so they find themselves mindlessly repeating campaign slogans he uses since they are so overcome with emotion they can no longer think straight. now, barack obama is definitely the most electable democrat, according to cnn. republican pundit peggy noonan agrees wholeheartedly, in an analysis everyone should read. however, i do have to warn you not to trust peggy noonan, because she is a right-wing republican partisan hack, and it is unclear what her motivations are, although her analysis in that particular article does seem to be 100% spot-on, which is very rare for her. so, please do remember to think for yourself and not just accept something as true because i say it or peggy noonan or someone else says it, and do your own research. anyway, rush limbaugh is now saying that he will campaign for hillary clinton, just like how ann coulter said she would vote for hillary clinton. cnn headline news host glenn beck, whose career started in talk radio, is also onboard the right-wing-pundits-for-hillary bandwagon. all of these right-wing pundits for hillary are people who supported mitt romney and are so pissed off that he lost that they have all completely lost their marbles. of course mitt romney was a flip-flopping wealthy massachusetts politician who had no core beliefs and kept changing his opinions on all the most important issues in order to please whatever constituencies would be voting next.

so okay, what else? oh yeah, hillary clinton loaned $5 million of her own money to her campaign, just like how mitt romney gave so many millions of his own money to his own campaign. she claims her campaign has already repaid that loan now... whatever. and many of her top campaign staffers are going without pay for 1 month in order to save her campaign money... that is what rudy giuliani had his campaign staffers do, right before he lost big time in florida and had to drop out of the race. bill clinton continues to make an ass of himself in public. hillary clinton is demanding a lot more debates with barack obama, but he was only willing to fit 2 more debates into his schedule, claiming he needed to have more events in states with upcoming contests so the people there could get to know him. and one of those 2 debates was scheduled to be on msnbc. but some asshole at msnbc named david shuster said that the clinton campaign was pimping out chelsea clinton, and now the clinton campaign has condemned msnbc and refuses to take part in any debates on that channel, and the clintons are completely boycotting msnbc, and probably nbc news as well. so this means there is now just 1 debate between clinton and obama scheduled for the time being. basically, cnn is thought of as the “clinton news network” by many people, and many people also consider msnbc to be the obama channel. fox news was the giuliani channel for a while, but now they will probably try to unite conservatives around john mccain. but anyway, hillary clinton and barack obama are almost tied when it comes to delegates. and both candidates have plenty of advantages and disadvantages. recently some in the hillary clinton campaign have started claiming that barack obama is the establishment candidate. i suggest a definition of establishment candidate: whomever has the support of the most superdelegates. since hillary clinton has the support of twice as many superdelegates as barack obama, it is obvious that she is the establishment candidates, since superdelegates ARE the democratic party establishment. now many of hillary clinton’s supporters have maxed out the amount of money they can contribute, thanks to the contribution limits of the mccain-feingold campaign finance reform law that is now on the books. but barack obama has a much larger number of contributors; unfortunately most of them do not contribute that much money. barack obama might seem to be “teflon” but he does have a potential achilles heel: tony rezko. of course, hillary clinton has a similar problem: norman hsu.

in other news, a barack obama supporter known simply as “obama girl” has gone into pakistan’s western tribal region and assassinated al qaeda’s #1 terrorist mastermind osama bin laden, because his name “osama” sounds too much like “obama”:



however, “obama girl” got sick when she was in pakistan killing osama bin laden, and was unable to vote in her native new jersey on super tuesday, thus handing victory in new jersey’s primary to hillary clinton. “obama girl” was in arizona on super tuesday, either to celebrate the super bowl that happened on sunday or to celebrate arizona senator john mccain’s historic run for the white house. and to think... just recently, on january 31, it was revealed that “obama girl” is now a superhero, “super obama girl”:



and don’t forget it was “obama girl” who defeated rudy giuliani:



i still think “obama girl” could win this election for us in november. she just needs to move to florida so her vote can be the 1 that decides the outcome of the election in the biggest swing state. remember how bill clinton smoked pot but did not inhale and how george w. bush did cocaine in his youth? well now it is time to get high with barack obama on the david letterman show:



but what about hillary clinton? turns out she hates white people:



also she farts:



and john mccain has some interesting dreams when he is asleep during state of the union speeches:



now if you really want to see barack obama show off what he learned as a young islamic fundamentalist in indonesia, just look at this video showing how he was also a bollywood star in india:



and to think... tonight on cnn, anderson cooper was talking about how asian-americans, just like latinos, overwhelmingly support hillary clinton over barack obama. what will people think when they find out that barack obama is not black, but is actually an asian bollywood star from india? also, john mccain is not white, he is arab and a member of the saudi royal family, as well as an al qaeda operative sent to destroy america from the inside out. and hillary clinton is an eskimo who grew up in an igloo and has a diet consisting of nothing but polar bears. and all 3 of them are secretly members of the council on foreign relations, the communist party, nambla, the flat earth society, and the church of the subgenius. but don’t take my word for it. research these facts yourself, instead of just believing anything you read in a blog or in a chain email. or don’t. whatever. it’s up to you. just don’t pay attention to what ann coulter said at the conservative political action conference after showing up uninvited, because it will make a blood vessel burst inside your brain.