time to resign, governor eliot spitzer

dear governor eliot spitzer, i wanted you as governor, even as president of the united states, back when you were new york state attorney general, because i admired how you fought corporate corruption and other forms of big-scale crime while the federal government under george bush junior was deregulating everything by not enforcing laws on the books (environmental laws, food quality laws, antitrust laws, etc.) and trying to force the states not to regulate any industries either. i admired you more than almost any other politician: you were in the same leagues as governor howard dean, senator russ feingold, and congressman dennis kucinich. although i never met you, your wife came to binghamton, new york to the spiedie fest and balloon rally during the summer before you were elected governor, and i was one of the low-ranking democratic party operatives there at the spiedie fest, and i met her and she said what a great person you are and how you really care about helping people and just how wonderful you are. and i know you have some wonderful daughters as well. you have done many great things for this state during your 8-year tenure as state attorney general, and probably did a better job than any other state attorney general in the nation at that time. andrew cuomo, son of former governor mario cuomo, is continuing that legacy as the new state attorney general, and he is doing a fine job, just as you did. but as governor, there have been some problems. i still have a bumper sticker on my car that says “spitzer/paterson: bring some passion back to albany”. i supported 100% you when there was a big dispute between you and state senate majority leader joseph bruno (that crazy old man). i supported you after you proposed giving drivers’ licenses to illegal immigrants, despite disagreeing with that particular policy choice, and after you withdrew the proposal, i was pleased and thought it indicated that you were willing to admit to making a mistake and move on, unlike certain other people who refuse to ever admit to being wrong, such as our senator, hillary clinton, or our president, george w. bush. your ongoing dispute with state senate majority leader joseph bruno has paralyzed the state government for more than half a year, more than half your tenure as governor so far, and made it impossible to get anything done, and i think joseph bruno deserves most of the blame for that. but now that the new york times has disclosed that you have been having sex with high-paid prostitutes, and using the alias “george fox” instead of your real name when doing business with them, that is the last straw. george fox was the founder of quakerism, the religion i grew up in, and you are dishonoring his memory by using his name to have sex with prostitutes. so i have decided to withdraw my support for you and i want you to resign and let our african-american, legally-blind lieutenant governor david paterson become the new governor. as an added bonus, state senate majority leader joseph bruno would become the new lieutenant governor automatically, and since that position has zero authority whatsoever, we would finally be rid of the bastard, and maybe the new york state government might actually start getting things accomplished again, since joseph bruno has been the biggest obstacle to getting anything done ever since you became governor. if you stay on as governor, eliot spitzer, i doubt that we democrats can win back control of the new york state senate. you have had sex with multiple prostitutes on multiple occasions. you have violated the law and the public trust. and just like sitting republican senator david vitter (who had sex with prostitutes just like you), and sitting republican senator larry craig (a closet homosexual bible-thumping fundamentalist who hates all homosexuals, including himself, and who publicly promised he was going to resign after he was caught breaking the law but then changed his mind), you ought to resign. governor spitzer, you ought to resign because you broke the law, you violated the trust of your wife and your family, you would hurt the democratic party if you stayed on as governor, and your tenure as governor so far has not been going so well so you might as well just call it quits. and if you resign, we will have the first african-american governor ever for new york state, david paterson (and he is also a big hillary clinton supporter). and i want david paterson as governor and barack obama as president, and eliot spitzer as someone who actually resigns due to a sex scandal (unlike, for instance, former republican congressmen henry hyde and former house speaker newt gingrich, who cheated on their wives but led the effort to impeach president bill clinton). politicians who stay in office after sex scandals end up tainted, especially if they did illegal things like paying for prostitutes instead of just having sex for free, the legal way. it was bill clinton’s sex scandals that helped put george w. bush in the white house. anyway, i am going to finally take my eliot spitzer bumper sticker off my car. and once the democratic party chooses a nominee for president, i will put their bumper sticker on instead. and i am keeping on the bumper sticker for congressman mike arcuri. but anyway governor, just please go into early retirement. “REPENT! Quit Your JOB!   ¡SLACK OFF!” as the old subgenius saying goes.