“joe” the “plumber”

ok, this “joe” the “plumber” thing is getting really out of control, and the republicans have based a huge propaganda campaign on the story of 1 man. john mccain and sarah palin talk about this guy “joe” constantly, they are doing the “joe the plumber bus tour” in honor of him, they have made him the central focus of their campaign at this point, and now “joe” the “plumber” is considering running for congress! the only problems:

1) he is not a licensed plumber and is not registered with the state of ohio as a plumber. if he is engaged in any plumbing in the state of ohio, he is doing it illegally and should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

2) his name is not even joe, it’s sam. samuel joseph wurzelbacher is his full name. and he misspelled his last name on his voter registration as “worzelbacher”, so initially reporters did not even think he was registered to vote.

3) the company he said he wants to take over makes nowhere near $250,000 a year, according to sam wurzelbacher’s boss, so it would not face any tax increases under barack obama. in fact, its taxes would go down under barack obama, even more so than they would under john mccain. 98% of small businesses make under $250,000 a year in taxable income, and would not face any tax increases at all in an obama administration.

4) sam wurzelbacher does not actually have any plans to take over the company he works for, and he does not make that much money at his job. he would pay less in taxes under barack obama than under john mccain. he completely made up the thing about taking over the company he works for, and he has no plan on how to run the business or anything like that. he pretended to be much wealthier than he actually is when he talked to barack obama.

5) sam wurzelbacher owes $1,182.98 in back taxes. yeah, he hates taxes so much that he violates the law by refusing to pay them, while working illegally as an unlicensed plumber. plus he has a second tax lien against him that is even bigger: $1,261. i am not sure if those are for the same thing or if they are separate and need to be added up, but in either case, he sure is not a law-abiding tax-paying citizen.

6) sam wurzelbacher willingly submitted himself to the media spotlight and engaged in a large number of interviews with all sorts of media outlets after john mccain made him famous in the final debate of this election season. he willingly submitted himself to scrutiny by the public by doing all these interviews, and so he deserves full and complete scrutiny, just like any other public figure. if john mccain is going to base his entire campaign around the fabricated story of “joe the plumber”, the public has the right to know the truth about sam the unlicensed tax-dodging plumber.

7) this just is yet another example of the larger problem plaguing the mccain campaign: they are so focused on “winning the news cycle” that their entire campaign is based on nothing but a bunch of short-term gimmicks and publicity stunts. that is why they chose sarah palin without vetting her, only to end up having her have much higher disapproval ratings than approval ratings, and having her drag down the ticket with her eventual unpopularity. they picked a totally unqualified intellectual lightweight who does not know anything about economics, international affairs, or other key national issues. remember how the mccain-palin campaign refused to let anyone in the media interview her for quite a while after she was chosen as vice presidential nominee? they realized they had a problem on their hands after experienced campaign staffers who talked to her realized she was a complete idiot, even dumber than george w. bush. (dubya actually managed to graduate yale and then harvard, something sarah palin could never do.) and remember john mccain suspending his campaign to go fix the economy? yeah, that sure worked great. good job... not!

ok, so you get the point? john mccain would never have made the entire 3rd debate about “joe” the “plumber” and then based his entire candidacy around “joe” the “plumber” afterwards unless he were really, REALLY desperate. “joe” the “plumber” went through absolutely zero vetting by the mccain-palin campaign, and is proving to be a big embarrassment to them, but they have to pretend like nothing is wrong, just like they have to pretend that picking sarah palin was not a mistake and fake-suspending the campaign was not a mistake. “joe” the “plumber” is actually a typical american just like you or me; plenty of people don’t pay their taxes, are not licensed in their professions, and are not really that smart. his flaws make him all the more human, all the more like the idiots you run into every day. but he does not speak for anyone except himself, and he is not an honest person, plus he is only slightly smarter than sarah palin, which means he is still mentally retarded. so, in the final analysis, what are we to make of all this?

republicans were right to pick george w. bush over john mccain in 2000, because john mccain is a complete jackass who doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground (only look at the LAST panel of that old comic from march). sure, george w. bush turned out to be the worst president in all of american history by far, but john mccain would have been even worse, judging by his performance in the last few months. a senile old ronald reagan in the final stages of alzheimer’s would be better than john mccain. my dog would do a better job as president than john mccain. a dead single-celled organism would do a better job than john mccain. john mccain sucks more than a paralyzed-from-the-waist-down old prostitute who only does blowjobs. john mccain is a bigger loser than the runner-up on the tv show called “the biggest loser”. who the hell panders to moderates during the primaries and caucuses and then reaches out to his party’s base in the general election? john mccain has everything back-asswards. if he actually wins the presidency this november, congress should have him and sarah palin sent to a mental institution for incurable insanity, and nancy pelosi should be sworn in as president due to john mccain and sarah palin being mentally incapacitated. after all, the speaker of the house is next in line to be president after the vice president, and nancy pelosi is very knowledgeable and qualified, and would be ready on day 1.

nancy pelosi for president! (or barack obama, in the incredibly unlikely event that he wins.)

oh, and read this article about john mccain. please.