pro-sex or anti-sex?

you know, a whole lot of social issues relate to sex. and they are all interconnected. but, overall, everyone is either pro-sex or anti-sex or somewhere in between on the spectrum. pro-sex people basically believe in freedom, that people should be free to control their own sex lives without the government or anyone else getting in their way. anti-sex people want to oppress everyone and prevent them from getting their jollies. but most people are not entirely pro-sex or anti-sex, instead falling somewhere in between. i, on the other hand, am quite pro-sex, because i am radically pro-freedom, especially on social issues. so here is a rundown of the different components of my pro-sex position:

1) pro-sex means premaritax sex is ok

some people on the religious right say that premarital sex is sinful and means you will go to hell. obviously these people just don’t want anybody to have any fun in life, and they want to use fear of hell to frighten people into remaining virgins. i of course think nothing is wrong with premarital sex.

2) pro-sex means all sexual orientations are ok

people have the right to decide for themselves who they are attracted to, and act on this accordingly, as long as their sexual partners consent. this is a clear moral principle. discrimination against homosexuals or transsexuals or bisexuals or asexuals is just not right, nor should anyone badmouth heterosexuals either. a texas law banning homosexual sex was rightly struck down by the u.s. supreme court, a victory for the pro-sex movement. also, full recognition of homosexuality entails full recognition of marriages between 2 homosexuals of the same gender. we must not limit marriage to only benefit heterosexuals.

3) pro-sex means interracial sex is ok

some people argue in favor of racial purity or other stupid racist concepts, and use this as a basis to argue against interracial sex. people used to look down on interracial sex, and it is still looked down upon in some cultures. however, it is clear that people should be allowed to choose freely among all potential consenting partners, rather than just those of the same race.

4) pro-sex means all types of sex are ok

so not just coitus is ok... also fellatio, cunnilingis, anal sex, or any other type of sex, no matter how kinky. and of course this includes masturbation. yes all types of sex are perfectly fine and we should not discriminate against people who engage in bizarre sexual practices, as long as it is consensual. some feminists oppose fellatio, claiming some “patriarchy” conspiracy is oppressing them. nonsense! if a woman does not like fellatio, it is her choice not to do it. but, nobody should be forcing their views on everyone else and telling them what kinds of sex they can and cannot have. any woman who really believes there is some patriarchy conspiracy of men oppressing women simply needs to assume a dominant role in her own relationships with men, or become a lesbian, and then her problem is solved, thus proving the nonexistence of the so-called patriarchy. now in some societies in this world, it is true that patriarchy still does exist, but anywhere like the united states where women are allowed to be dominant and make their own decisions, patriarchy is dead. the fact that female college graduates each year now exceed male college graduates in the united states dramatically underscores this fact.

5) pro-sex means birth control is great and abortion is ok

condoms, birth control pills, female condoms, and morning-after pills are just some of the forms of birth control out there. they are all good. for people to be able to freely enjoy the benefits of consensual sex, they must be able to protect themselves from unwanted pregnancy. otherwise, the risk of unwanted pregnancy would jeapordize their sexual freedom and make them slaves to an unborn child. abortion is not quite as clear-cut, since there is a fetus that is being killed. but, at the end of the day, a fetus is not a sentient human being, it is just a very young organism with the potential to someday become a sentient human being. then again, every sperm and egg cell also has this same potential. so, since it is ok to kill animals despite the fact that animals have feelings and emotions and other things similar to humans (this is justified by humans being the only sentient beings that can reason about things), we can therefore surmise that a fetus is still an animal, not yet a human, and therefore ok to kill.

6) pro-sex means rape or pedophilia or other coerced sex is wrong

that’s right, pro-sex does not actually include all sex. you see, pro-sex is really a subset of pro-freedom, and basically pro-sex is short for pro-sexual-freedom. any act of rape or coercive sexual behavior to force someone to engage in sexual acts against their will violates the principle of sexual freedom. the ultimate aim of being pro-sex is to maximize every individual’s rights and privileges to make their own decisions about their sex life, without having the government or religious groups or feminists or rapists or anyone at all intrude upon their sexual freedom. rape is an act that traumatizes a person for life and makes them never enjoy sex again. it would hardly be pro-sex to support allowing people to be traumatized so that they do not enjoy sex anymore, because the reason people have sex in the first place is because they enjoy it. ultimately, pursuit of sex is “pursuit of happiness”, a basic human right enshrined in the declaration of independence. now, obviously, if rape occurs, only the rapist should be punished. “honor killings” of rape victims are indefensible. and if one person is much older than the other person, who is a child or young teenager, this is also a very unequal, coercive relationship, and almost certainly is rape, so pedophilia is also something that must be illegal.

7) pro-sex means adultery/cheating is ok, as is group sex, but not polygamy (but divorce is fine)

since every individual owns their own body (it is the only thing that nobody else can ever take away from them), they naturally have the right to decide what other bodies they are willing to have their body have sex with. this right does not end after marriage or after joining a committed relationship. adultery used to be illegal across the united states, and still is illegal in some countries, or in some places, adulterers are stoned to death. group sex is an extension of the right of people to have sex with different people at different times; people have the right to have sex with different people at the same time, by having group sex. but polygamy, or being married to more than 1 person, is not ok. polygamy creates unequal relationships between the 2 genders, and allows people to share marriage benefits with as many people as they want, which is unfair to all the people in monogamous marriages. (imagine sharing hospital visitation rights and health insurance and doing taxes together with 100 wives... not fair to other people.) polygamous marriages distort the male/female ratio to a much greater extent than the existence of homosexuals or asexuals, which could doom many people to remain single against their will and thus create social unrest. divorce, however, is fine, because it reinforces sexual freedom, and people have the right to change their minds about what to do with their bodies, the same way they have the right to change their mind about how to invest their money or about who to vote for.

8) pro-sex means nudity and pornography are fine, as long as there is consent

the natural state of us humans is nudity; it is how we are born, and it is how all the species of animals in nature live. clothing is a human invention, and its ubiquitous covering of the human form is simply a result of which societal customs we happen to have in our society. self-expression entails the right to express ourselves through how we decorate our bodies through piercings or tatoos or the like, and how we dress, and if we choose to be naked, this is our natural right. the use of coersive power to dictate to people how they can and cannot clothe themselves is not justifiable, unless the clothing itself poses a danger to society (such as if you made a jacket out of trinitrotoluene or t.n.t.) someone who is naked is ipso facto not a threat because they cannot be carrying a concealed weapon or anything like that (unless it is up their ass or something crazy). pornography is another form of self-expression, an art form, which, while commercialized and aimed at entertaining the consumer, is nonetheless a type of performance art just like television shows or movies. pornography might be viewed by some people as exploitation, but, in reality, most pornography is done by people who consent to be in it in exchange for financial benefit, so really, everybody benefits and nobody is hurt. to ban pornography would be to ban something that benefits everyone involved and does not hurt anyone. however, there is a small percentage of pornography that involves people who are coerced or threatened, or people younger than the age of consent, or people who did not consent to be filmed or photographed. this type is not ok, but the vast majority of pornography is.

9) pro-sex means prostitution is ok

prostitution normally involves one person paying another person money in exchange for consensual sexual intercourse between both people. since people have a natural right to control who they have sex with, and since this is a capitalist economic system that we have in the united states and most other countries, it is discriminatory to prosecute people who want to sell sex but to allow people to sell other things that there is demand for. if it is ok to sell televisions and automobiles, why is it not ok to sell sex, if both people consent to the sex? there is no logical reason for it. arguments against prostitution invariably resort to faith-based reasoning or to circumstantial evidence, but they are not logically sound. prostitution is a mutually beneficial capitalist sexual relationship, and since under natural law people own their own bodies, they can decide who to have consensual sex with. now some people might be forced into prostitution against their will, or otherwise coerced; this is completely unacceptable and the people who keep these prostitutes trapped should be severely punished by the law. but prostitutes, and their customers, are blameless, and should never be subject to prosecution unless they engage in other activities which are illegal. someone of either gender can be a prostitute, and they can cater to customers of either gender. and there is nothing wrong with that, because prostitutes exist to fulfill a basic human need.

10) pro-sex means people need maximal protection from sexually transmitted diseases, but also have responsibilities

sexually transmitted diseases are a horror story that has plagued sexually active people around the world for as long as people have existed. even animals have sexually transmitted diseases. like any diseases, people need to look for cures for stds, to eradicate this menace to the public health. also, condoms or abstinence can be used to try to avoid these plagues. but, people still need to have sex without condoms, at least sometimes, to replenish the population. so people have certain responsibilities they must fulfill in order to make sex something safe and fun, rather than dangerous and worrisome. first of all, people have a responsibility to get tested for stds if they can. secondly, they have a responsibility not to lie to other people about matters concerning stds, and not to have sex with uninfected people if they know they have an std. if someone knows they have an std and has sex with someone who is uninfected, or if someone lies about whether they have an std or whether they have been tested in order to get sex, this should be considered attempted murder and severely punished under the law. now, when we talk about whether someone lied about if they have stds, this kind of thing is hard to prove in a court of law. but it should be prosecuted when there is proof, at least. and people have a responsibility to take care of their own bodies and their own health, and to not willfully inflict harm upon others. ultimately, it is a failure of people to live up to these responsibilities that makes stds so prevalent. so, there should be services for people with stds to find potential mates who have the same stds as them but not any other ones. and we as a society need to remove any stigma attached to people with stds and not look down upon them or discriminate against them, because this will simply perpetuate the spread of stds by making people avoid getting tested or making them lie about it. if people meet their responsibilities, the threat of stds should eventually become a thing of the past, but this will likely take many years before that can finally happen. and the pro-sex position, being more properly the pro-sexual-freedom position, naturally entails giving individuals as much power as possible to make sexual decisions in their own lives, but with power comes responsibility, so we must also recognize the responsibilities people take on in a society that recognizes their sexual rights.

now, it is mostly republicans who oppose sexual freedom, whether through opposing birth control or abortion or gay rights or gay marriage. and many countries in this world have a lot less sexual freedom than the united states. but, there is definitely a correlation with the amount of sexual freedom a country has, and the standard of living. so, pro-sex policies most likely have clear benefits for a country, economically speaking, and lead to a higher standard of living. the countries that still have a patriarchy are quite anti-sex, but pro-sex policies liberate not just women but also men, not just homosexuals but also heterosexuals and everybody else. it is rather fundamental to recognize people’s right to do with their own physical bodies as they see fit as long as this does not intrude upon anybody else’s right to do likewise. and that foundation, based upon the obvious fact that you own your own body, naturally leads to all of the pro-sex policies. therefore, policies that conflict with the pro-sex position are clearly immoral, as they restrict people’s rights to self-determination (determining what to do with themselves, or rather, their bodies). while some feminists are pro-sex, there are also many who are not, and really this is a betrayal of the right of all people (including women) to make their own decisions about how to live their lives as long as they do not oppress others without consent. and so i have written this in an effort to help society cast aside old, outdated rules that are no longer any good, rules that simply existed to maintain order by controlling people’s lives, and served no useful morally justifiable purpose. i am of the firm belief that moral values are not absolutes, and they change and evolve over time, from one generation to the next, from one civilization to the next, over thousands of years. over the past few hundred years, this process of moral evolution has accelerated, and it is my aim to accelerate it further still, so that human society can adapt to changing circumstances and rediscover what right and wrong really mean. and i believe in sex, i believe in the power of sex, and i believe sex is something that is sometimes good and sometimes bad, but often misunderstood or not viewed correctly. if i have a son or daughter i will teach them the same things about sex, and i will not restrict their rights to act freely as individuals, as long as they do not oppress others and uphold their responsibilities, the responsibilities that come with having rights. i will not use coercive power to oppress others, because that is not something i believe in. i hope others make the same choice. i believe children should trust their parents, and parents should behave in a way that makes them worthy of being trusted in the first place, by not doing things like lying about santa claus, or anything else that might disrupt the child’s trust. and i believe society needs to adapt its morality to the realities of this changing world, so that morality can remain relevant, and does not get discarded completely by future generations. people’s views regarding bill clinton’s relationship with monica lewinsky, and how he got impeached for it, and how people do not want to give homosexuals the same rights as heterosexuals, these things disturb me deeply, since it often seems that morality itself is immoral, at least the morality that some people believe in. but if we want to say it is immoral to start a war based on lies, this implies we still believe in morality, so morality has to be reformed, not discarded. and the reason i call my morality pro-sex is because traditional morality is so anti-sex. if people want to really enjoy sex, they need a new system of morality that lets them actually enjoy their sexuality without feeling guilty about it. and that is what this post has been all about, because for much of my life i was burdened with notions from traditional morality that saddened me with unnecessary guilt and shame, but i have liberated myself from those oppressive ideas and you can too.