what is this hurricane katrina?

jesus fucking christ. binghamton is totally flooded. it’s like hurricane katrina all over again, except in upstate new york. it’s in the local news, and on the weather channel’s national report, but apparently binghamton isn’t important enough for this to make the national news. so there is like, a travel ban... we aren’t allowed to drive on the roads. actually there isn’t really flooding everywhere. i actually have no idea where the flooding is. somewhere in broome county. dammit! at least i live on the side of a hill. the hill will protect me. i wish i knew the name of the hill. what the hell is the name of the hill my house is on the side of? so deer lake has flooded. where the hell is deer lake? i never heard of deer lake. it’s somewhere in the county. most of the flooding is in parts of the county that are not the place where i am. ya know, low lying places near rivers. but they are evacuating the entire east side of binghamton, apparently, since it is surrounded by 2 rivers (chenango and susquehanna). sending people to the binghamton university event center. this is gonna be just like the superdome in new orleans, i swear. this shit is all because of global warming, i guarantee it. i saw al gore’s movie the other day, an inconvenient truth, and it scared the hell outta me. but really, aren’t we gonna have global thermonuclear war wipe us out? isn’t that what steven hawking was talking about the other day, along with “catastrophic global warming” and “a genetically engineered virus”? i was sure that nuclear war was gonna be the way the world would end. that’s why we need to fund the nunn-lugar program and ted turner’s nuclear threat initiative. and ronald reagan should have listened to mikhail gorbachev when he said he wanted to ban nuclear weapons. jackass. but shit... pretty soon we oughtta start loading up 2 of every species, if ya know what i mean. except this time, we go to mars! i read steve squyres’s book about mars rovers, and it just made me feel like a total dumbass for never getting to know him when he was my professor at cornell. steven hawking’s idea of going to the moon or mars sounds pretty smart to me, right about now. this planet is fucked up! when is it going to stop raining? like, ok, we have enough rain here already. can’t someone make it stop? we need like, a giant laser on the moon to vaporize clouds before they start producing rain. ok, i admit, that is from austin powers, the giant laser on the moon thing. you know, i bet the democratic party doesn’t even exist anymore, because the binghamton headquarters are right next to the place where the 2 rivers meet on the east side of binghamton. and without a binghamton headquarters... a political party is finished. yes, binghamton is that important. hah. ok, so maybe the rest of the country thinks we are expendable, judging by the lack of national news coverage of the flooding. wtf is the deal with cnn.com and msnbc.com? like, i bet there might actually be 1 or 2 people who get injured in these floods, or maybe even someone dead. that is like, the worst natural disaster in the history of the world. well at least in binghamton, while i have been alive. maybe. except for the tornados. or the lightning. or something. dammit, there is a flood and it’s illegal for me to drive my car on the streets! this is some serious shit. i wonder, if this shit fucks up the landscape, how long will it take before i can look at this shit on google earth? what the fuck? just stop raining... it’s not funny anymore. seriously. why is everyone declaring a state of emergency in the county and the city and town and village and whatever? what does “state of emergency” even mean in the first place? i mean, i am kind of pissed off about the weather disrupting normal everyday life for myself and other people in my community. we need to, like, kill mother nature by polluting as much as possible, and that will stop all the weather from happening and then people will control everything. or maybe, i dunno... sell our cars and buy boats? what is this venice or something? i didn’t get any sleep all night because the rain was so loud all night... and my window was closed. and there is a boil water advisory. oh great. i hope they declare “martian law”, like on sealab 2021 on adult swim. we need to like, not die. it’s actually not that bad right where i am, in fact things are perfectly fine in my neighborhood. too bad about those other parts of the county, though... huh. well, i suppose i’ll just see what happens, and, umm, try to avoid any sorts of flooding disaster that might be happening around here? we still have electricity and cable tv and internet and running water... for now. i’m gonna go, like, eat food or something... this weather is kinda dumb. at least i’m not, like, dead or something. i wonder if the downtown area will even exist tomorrow. at least my house will be fine. ugh... i’m going to eat now.