yea its my 100th post but i’m on fricken dialup

awwww yeeeeah! 100 posts! that is a shitload! and this is #100! this blog kicks more ass than when someone uses their foot to kick me in my ass, because my ass is not really as large as people think! so guess what! i am on dialup and it is sooooooo fricken slow! half the time websites don’t even come up right because some of the stuff is missing cuz if you go to like cnn.com or some other website like that there are like over 100 images to download and all sorts of shit embedded in the page like flash advertisements and whatnot! it is good i have adblock plus! less stupid-ass ads getting downloaded and using up my precious bandwidth, which is 44.0 kbps. that is less than 56k, for those of you who can’t count. yeah, it’s 44k, even though the modem is some super-advanced 56k modem that uses like advanced compression algorithms and shit like that to make it faster somehow. well it is not actually using those compression algorithms since the server it connected to doesn’t support it. thank you (aol) time warner! at least this service is free anywhere in the country as long as you pay for time warner’s roadrunner high-speed internet service, which is kinda a little expensive or whatever. and roadrunner only works at one place, so if you go somewhere else, you have to use dialup. but the servers i connect to for the dialup are not from time warner cable, they are from america online! which is the same damn company! thank you for approving the merger, ted turner! you lost all your money, you dope!

so anyway, everyone is fricken dying. like, this james brown dude, he was pretty awesome. he was like the greatest guy who ever did that kind of music, which i never listened to, because it all came out before i was born. anyway, gerald ford is also dead. the greatest president who never got elected. and now, the latest death is saddam hussein, who was executed. like what is up with all these people being dead now? maybe everyone else should die too, to show our appreciation or whatever. like i think when that john lennon guy from the beatles was killed, some of his fans killed themselves. or maybe once these people are dead, new people can like, take their place. like we can let muqtada al-sadr install himself as the new dictator of iraq to replace saddam, and we could impeach cheney and have bush replace him with some other loser, and then impeach bush, so that the new unelected vice president becomes the new president. of course, some people (like me!) want to impeach bush and cheney together and have a single trial for both of them in the senate, so we can make nancy pelosi president in 2007. in any case, it would be similar to gerald ford, and a fitting tribute to his 2-year unelected accidental presidency. what the hell is up with chevy chase? apparently that dude was responsible for gerald ford losing. and jimmy carter apparently won a close election in 1976, with many states from the south! the fricken south! there were actually democrats here in the south! i am in the south right now! there are only 3 democrats here! myself, and my 2 parents! everyone else is republican! all right, so maybe florida is not a solidly republican southern state like its neighbors. and the weather here in florida is really nice. mmmmmm. florida is so fricken awesome, i love it here. oh wait, who can replace gerald ford? like who should bush nominate to replace cheney? oh yeah, i remember! his fricken brother! jeb bush should be president for 2 years! or maybe bring his daddy back! papa bear! bush senior! oh man... there are only 3 living ex-presidents now, and 2 out of 3 of them are democrats! fuck yeah! us democrats are winning! i hope jimmy carter outlives papa bear george herbert walker bush senior daddy poopy pants who threw up on the japanese prime minister! i have heard funny things about mr. gerald ford. he cannot walk and chew gum at the same time, and he likes to fall down stairs a lot. and he pardoned dick nixon, my main man, the boss, big guy in charge. who’s your daddy? nixon, bitch! yo... you ever wonder where these neocon bastards like cheney and rumsfeld came from? the republicans keep using the same losers again and again, in each presidential administration they have. and every time they use someone like cheney or rumsfeld, that person gets stupider and more fucked up in the head. those guys were younger and less dumb back when they worked for gerald ford, but time has a way of messing with your mind and turning you into a wacko. just look at what happened to former attorney general ramsey clark. that guy is a fucking communist, and served as a lawyer for saddam hussein! for years ramsey clark has been the public face of the workers’ world party (wwp), a stalinist communist political party based in new york city. the neocons are just like him, except they have brainwashed themselves with neoconservatism rather than communism. neoconservatism and communism are like polar opposites that mirror each other, the 2 extremes of foreign policy and economic policy. communists try to spread communism around the world, aggressively trying to implement communist economic policies in foreign nations, often by force. neoconservatives do the same thing, except they are trying to spread democracy as a political system and free-market capitalism as an economic system. and perhaps islamists are another force of this type, trying to spread islamic theocracy to foreign nations and getting those nations to implement sharia law. but sharia law is a social policy, not an economic policy, so an islamic nation could be either capitalist or communist, or anything in between. anyway, all of these points of view of people who want to use violence to spread their preferred system of government to foreign nations are extremist and evil. the good, righteous, and noble path is one of diplomacy, negotiation, and working together with as many allies as possible, while talking to your enemies, negotiating with them, making concessions, and signing peace treaties with them. we ought to sign peace treaties with all of our enemies around the world. then, we only resort to violence and war when they violate the treaties they signed. and we work together with many other nations, and gather together a large coalition of powerful allies, and use them to crush the enemy with overwhelming force. once the enemy nation needs to be rebuilt, we get somebody else to pay for it, and we only contribute a fraction of the costs. and we get other countries to put their troops in, so we don’t have to use our troops instead. right now there is a war in somalia, for instance. ethiopia is an american ally, and we are helping arm them to use them as a proxy force against the islamic courts militia in somalia, to put the pro-western provisional government back in place in mogadishu. using proxy forces is the proper method for fighting wars, because it avoids using our own troops, and does as little damage as possible to our own nation. that is the proper way to ensure that things go in accordance with our national interest. if we want a new world order and complete global domination, we will have to cooperate with others and be nice to them in order to achieve this goal. war should always be the last resort. our real enemy is the government of sudan, because it not only supports al qaeda, and harbored osama bin laden for years, but has also carried out genocide against its own people in darfur. it is nations like that which must be defeated. nations like iran and syria, however, ought to be dealt with in a much friendlier manner. iran is a shiite nation and as such is a sworn enemy of the sunni terrorist group al qaeda. we ought to be allying with them, and helping them build nuclear power plants. if we send americans in to help build the nuclear power plants, our people can monitor to make sure the iranians do not use the nuclear waste to build nuclear bombs. nuclear bombs require highly enriched uranium, but nuclear power plants only require low-grade enriched uranium. so it would be quite simple for us to monitor their uranium enrichment activities to ensure they only produce the low-grade enriched uranium and not highly enriched uranium, which is much harder to produce. restoring full diplomatic relations and talking to them would give us a presence in tehran and allow the cia to covertly spy on that nation, with diplomatic immunity. why do you think we still have full diplomatic relations with venezuela? it is for precisely that reason, so we can tell what is going on there and monitor the situation in that country. as for syria, it is a small nation, and therefore much easier to win over. most of the “coalition of the willing” was small nations. the united states has many ways to help out a small nation like syria and get it on our side. as for north korea, that nation needs to have a more prosperous economy, and we should pledge not to attack them unless they attack first. we need to accept the fact that they have nuclear weapons, and deal with them as we dealt with the soviet union. our goal in north korea ought to be helping out their economy by commercializing everything and bringing in capitalism, name brands, and all of that stuff like mcdonald’s and coca-cola. we have done very well in this regard with vietnam and china. we can let kim jong il stay on as dictator, and keep his nukes, but we will win over the population with our internets that are made of a series of tubes. the source of kim jong il’s strength is the poverty in north korea, and its isolation from the rest of the world. if we give the people of north korea lots of cool stuff for free, kim jong il will become less important. after enough time, north korea will become more and more like south korea, a nation run by complete pussies and wimps who try to do whatever we americans say unless the north koreans tell them it is not allowed. south korea is a weak nation that tries to be friends with everyone and lets bigger countries tell it what to do. the only nation in that region with the balls/guts/whatever to take on north korea is japan. luckily, japan is a pacifist nation, so if we decide to be nice to north korea, japan cannot stop us. japan is dependent upon us for its defense, and perhaps they could help out in the commercialization and corporatization of north korea. and south korea would be very very happy about the whole thing, because then the united states and north korea would be working together and the south koreans would not be getting confused by conflicting orders from their 2 masters. and what about our own hemisphere, countries like cuba, venezuela, and bolivia? well, we would be friends with them and help them out, just like with the other nations, and that would solve all of our problems peacefully. the only country we ought to be attacking is sudan. iran is not the big threat that mahmoud ahmadenijad makes it seem like. he is just a figurehead with no real power, whose purpose is to distract people from the real issues by creating silly controversies with his rabid anti-semitism. mr. ahmadenijad does not matter, and he is just a distraction. iran is actually run by the supreme leader and the ayatollahs, a bunch of high-ranking shiite clerics. and they are people we can deal with. all we need is an ambassador who is a practicing shiite and well versed in their theology, who can advocate our case in their language. and what about iraq? well, it is a nation that must learn to govern itself. we have done all we could, and screwed up many things because of our corruption, greed, and xenophobia, along with the fact that we are outsiders who do not belong there. we need to follow the recommendations of the baker-hamilton report and representative jack murtha, and get the hell out of that country. i can guarantee you that the vast majority of iraqis will be just as glad to be rid of us as they were glad to be rid of saddam hussein. and we should send donald rumsfeld and henry kissinger to belgium, where they both stand accused of crimes against humanity, in cases that have been filed in the belgian courts. that would show that the trial of saddam hussein was not just victors’ justice, and that we are willing to have our own wartime leaders be put on trial for any war crimes they may have committed. it is a shame that augusto pinochet was never executed for his crimes against humanity, and that he was allowed to die of natural causes, a free man. and the media coverage of pinochet’s death earlier this year was too pro-pinochet, buying into much of the propaganda he had used to stay in office, about how he supposedly saved his nation from communism. he was just like saddam hussein except not quite as bad. and augusto pinochet was a neocon, letting neocons from the united states come down to his country to experiment with its economic policies. i think his country was argentina, but not 100% sure. maybe it was chile. it sucks having dialup, because it takes forever to look things up online. i have to do all of this from my memory, which is not always that great. i keep forgetting things. but i still remember that hugo chavez is the crypto-communist president of venezuela, and he owns the american gasoline company citgo, so when you buy gasoline from a citgo station, you are funding his crypto-communist revolution in venezuela and abroad in the other nations he is trying to influence by giving them money. i call him crypto-communist because i am referring to how he does not ever admit to being communist, yet is best friends with fidel castro and is running his country much like a communist, and trying to spread his revolution abroad much like a communist. but neocons and islamists also try to spread their revolutions abroad. hugo chavez calls himself a bolivarian socialist, and he calls his revolution the bolivarian revolution. so perhaps a bolivarian socialist is yet another category of a transnational revolutionary movement, just like communist, neoconservative, and islamist. but i think this is just a matter of semantics, of using different words to refer to the same thing, and hugo chavez just avoids the word “communist” because of its negative connotations and the bad history associated with it. i think a “bolivarian socialist” is basically the same thing as a communist, except they are trying to make it sound nicer. it is just like the semantic games over abortion, like calling yourself “pro-life” or “pro-choice”. we have these stupid semantic games over all sorts of things. like calling the estate tax the “death tax”. another silly republican semantic trick is to refer to the democratic party as the “democrat party”, because polls and focus groups have shown that people like democrats better if there is the -ic suffix on the end of the party name. and of course referring to the neoconservatives as “neocons” is another semantic game, this time by liberals like me. the point of calling them neocons is to make it sound bad, like they are crooks or something. unfortunately, it seems like we need to do silly semantic games like this in order to influence public opinion. both sides in any political conflict seem to find it necessary to coin words and phrases to make themselves look good and their opponents look bad, and to do it in such a way as to disguise what they are doing to trick the news media into using the same language as them. like the word “islamofascist” is clearly intended as an insult against islam, especially islamic fundamentalists and theocratic islamic regimes like iran or the taliban. people like rush limbaugh often use the phrase “the homosexual agenda” in order to demonize homosexuals and make it look like they have some kind of evil hidden agenda to take over the world and ruin things for everyone else and turn us all gay or something like that. it is all quite ridiculous. one of the most ridiculous of these semantic games is the phrase “limousine liberals”. now, i am a liberal, most of the people i know are liberals, and none of us ever go around in limousines. we are not wealthy. liberals believe in implementing policies that help the poor, at the expense of the rich. conservatives believe in implementing policies that help the rich, at the expense of the poor. those are just facts. this is reality. i am just stating obvious facts that everyone knows or ought to know. so, anyone who is a “limousine liberal” is clearly someone that we should have a lot of respect for and look up to as a role model, because although they are wealthy, they are advocating policies which would be detrimental to themselves, as wealthy people. they are acting out of self-sacrifice, and trying to help the needy, even though it may be bad for their own interests as wealthy people. that is heroic. that is something that we should look up to, something very humanitarian and righteous. the fact that right-wingers try to demonize good people like homosexuals or the so-called limousine liberals shows how morally bankrupt the right-wingers really are. the objectives of conservatives are very clear: they want to oppress the poor, and homosexuals, and other groups of people who are already oppressed too much. they want to help out people who are wealthy and powerful who do not need any help. they want to take from the poor and give to the rich. and in foreign policy, neoconservatives want to use unilateral military invasions of countries that are not a threat to us in order to reshape the world and create a new world order full of pro-western democracies who do whatever we say. so, to put it bluntly, conservatives believe in the exact opposite of the kind of policies jesus christ believed in 2 thousand years ago. jesus christ wanted to help the needy and the oppressed, and he opposed violence and conflict, wanting to bring people together and help those who need help. this stuff is as easy and obvious as 1 + 1 = 2. conservatives are simply crusaders for evil who want to destroy everything that is good in this country and the world. that is why it is so wonderful that liberal democrats now control both houses of congress. we need to lead this country, and reform it, and help people out, and do such a good job that the conservative movement is destroyed forever. that doesn’t mean that we need to destroy the republican party, but we need to force them to reconsider their values and their positions on the issues, and to abandon their stone age conservative nonsense and start acting like human beings for a change.