time control video

here is a video that demonstrates the principles of time control, by compressing 30 years of time, the years from 1977 to 2007, into 9 minutes and 31 seconds. before you watch it, make sure you have enough time to watch it for 9 minutes and 31 seconds. then maybe you will have control of time too, just like the star of the film, dr. philo drummond, who plays the part of j.r. “bob” dobbs. in this film, “bob” does not have his pipe for smoking frop, because that only became a standard practice for mr. dobbs in the year 1979, when he became famous from subgenius pamphlet #1. 1977 predates that pamphlet by 2 years, so back in 1977, a lot less was known about j.r. “bob” dobbs, because fairly little had been written or said about him, as a fictional character. this may be the first film bob dobbs ever appeared in... or the most recent, depending on whether you judge it by when the first half was filmed or when the last half was filmed. but the ending... oh, it was filmed back in 1977 too! so, we go forward in time 30 years, from 1977 to the present year, and then we end by going back in time 30 years again. it was all a bad trip for bob dobbs... the entire premise of this film is psychedelic, about a bad trip, and about having the munchies for a hamburger. or maybe bob was going through withdrawal from his favorite drug, frop, the one that he smokes in his pipe. but who knows how long he has been smoking frop. did that start in 1979, or did it start earlier? and what happened to bob dobbs for the 30 years in between 1977 and 2007? in this video you might get some idea about the origins of j.r. “bob” dobbs, one of the greatest fictional characters of all time. so without any further ado, adieu, and please turn out the lights while watching the following film, turn off all portable electronic devices, and please do not move or talk, because you may experience some slight turbulence during the following video presentation. if you are 30 years older or younger after the video has completed, please wait for 30 years of time in the opposite direction to arrive to cancel out the time that has already affected your age, so that it can cancel out and put you back to your original age, with 9 minutes and 31 seconds plus the time you waited added to it. in the end, relativity and the standard model of quantum mechanics should determine the outcomes of all indeterminate events in this time frame, without creating any paradoxes that disrupt the time-space continuum. good night, and good luck.



did you watch the above movie already? if not, go back in time and act differently, so that when the present happens again in the future, it will be in the present in a parallel universe where you are watching the movie right now, at least. if you do not understand my advanced logic, do not worry. i have 11 dimensions and you only have 3. once your mind expands enough for your brain to fill all 11 dimensions, you will understand all of it fully, and know that it is pure bulldada. and what is bulldada, you ask? well, little fluffy friend, bulldada is a type of bullshit which expresses the philosophies of dadaism and taoism, and completely goes against rational materialist philosophies such as dialectical materialism (a.k.a. communist philosophy) and objectivism (a.k.a. capitalist philosophy). taoists in particular reject aristotle’s excluded middle hypothesis, which holds that a statement must either be entirely true or entirely false. this rejection of a manichean, oversimplified, all-or-nothing binary system of logic is contrary to the system of thought of western civilization, but is a perfectly natural example of eastern thought. nothing is entirely one thing or another thing. nothing is entirely serious or entirely a joke. nothing is entirely factual or entirely made up. everything is ambiguous and impossible to perfectly categorize, impossible to put it neat little boxes and label as this or that. that is the entire essence of the church of the subgenius. it is all impossible to categorize, because it is impossible to tell what is a joke and what is actually serious. everything is intentionally left ambigious, to make it difficult for anyone to make any sense of it. everything said on behalf of the church of the subgenius by those who promote it is pure bulldada. all that bulldada accomplishes in the long run is to either confuse people with all the ambiguity (the preferred outcome) or help them make their minds up and have their manichean all-or-nothing worldviews be able to classify everything and tell what is truth and what is fiction (the worse outcome). hopefully you are confused, because if you think you know what any of this means, you are wrong, but if you have no clue what i am talking about, you are definitely on the right track to finding the truth. being skeptical is alright, but being skeptical about skepticism itself is great! animals know nothing, which is why they are never wrong! good luck with time control! i shall see you in the future! but i do not say this with a sense of certainty; instead i say it with a sense of confusion, which is superior to certainty! i hope you will have enjoyed the video, and hopefully it will have helped to confuse you even more! welcome to the future! oops now that moment is in the present... ok it is in the past now. sorry, you missed it. the future already happened in the past, just a few seconds ago, but you missed the whole thing. maybe if you had a little more time control... but you will never have 30 years of slack like j.r. “bob” dobbs... he truly is the slack master, having wasted 30 years from 1977 to 2007 and getting absolutely nothing accomplished the entire time! and if you saw the video, you can tell why the church of the subgenius tells you to repent, quit your job, and slack off, in that order. just seeing what can happen to someone who gets 30 years of slack while at work... scary stuff! definitely want to avoid that guy’s fate! and just think, he was director of sales and marketing at a fortune 500 firm! i wonder if they ever got around to replacing him during his 30 year lunch hour...