the magnificent new omniplan

dearest friends (for all sentient beings are considered friends by me), i have constructed a devious and magnificent new omniplan, an all-encompassing plan, a strategy, a tactic, an objective, and a purpose, all combined into one, and able to fit any need or any budget, adjust to any changes in circumstance, adapt to all situations, fulfill all needs, take advantage of all opportunities, and exploit all weaknesses. i call this plan a, the original plan, a plan so secret, most of us never even hear about it. we usually start with plan b or plan c, never even considering that there may be a plan behind the plan, and that the plan we are considering instead is just a derivative work, an inferior substitute, which contains arbitrary specifics that make it impractical for dealing with changing circumstances. here is how plan a works: the primary objective is to achieve all secondary objectives, as quickly, easily, and painlessly as possible. what are the secondary objectives? they are superfluous, unimportant to the big picture, but at the very core of things, they are what put words into action and make the plan work. they are the spokes of the wheel that come out of the purpose in the core of the plan and get things spinning into a new level of circumnavigation circular circumferential circumsisual circumstance. this spin makes the plan, with all of its sub-jectives, ab-tain a charge, much as the spin of a subatomic particle creates its charge. the spinning wheel, firmly grounded on the ground, charges forward, ever forward, towards the ultimate goal, the true purpose, the goal behind all other mini-goals. the ultimate goal is to achieve all secondary objectives one by one, and updating the list of secondary objectives whenever one feels like doing so, and to continue doing this until there is no point in doing it anymore. when will this stoppage occur? at the end of time, ending the times of the end times. objectifying the objectives is necessarily necessary, in order to achieve progress towards progressive achievements. one by one, each secondary objective will be fulfilled, and something that, until that point, was a thing that had to be done, at that point becomes something that was done as it should have been done, was achieved, and fulfilled, completed successfully, accomplished, and thereby no longer needs to be done. as time passes at an increasingly alarming rate, ever quickening its passage, the force of slowness can be exerted by the successive accomplishments of accomplished successes. this gravitational friction causes the electromagnetic exertions of subatomic torque to postpone the deadline of the line of death, at which point the wheel progressively spinning forward will cross the line into death and no longer will life be lived by the being which chooses to fulfill achievements and achieve fulfillment. when death occurs for any organism, this is the end of time for the universe it traverses within its own central nervous system. the continuance of time for other life forms which do not die along with the dead organism is merely an illusion created to deceive the undead into thinking they do not live in the hell of fake life dreamed up in the imagination of a dying organism in its last moments, the last moments before the end of time. for as individuals, is it not ridiculous to propound the notion that time continues after one of us dies? certainly this cannot be the case. however, yet it is the case, despite all lies and deceit to the contrary, including the aforementioned case of a dying organism imagining the entire infinite future of the universe in its last few moments before it dies precisely at the end of time. nay, time continues forever, even past the destruction of those of us who can perceive its untimely passage. there is something timeless about the untimely passage of time as it passes from the past into the gift of present times presented to us presently. as futurists, we can futuristically cast furtive furloughs into the forbidden forgotten furnishings of the futile future. the ultimate plan of an individual, made up of a number of ever-changing sub-plans, or secondary objectives, is a plan that may be passed along to others, continued by them, or done along with those individuals who are contemporaries, living at the same time as oneself. this does not end the enslavement of humans to the words of language which have so deceived us. the liberation of complete language ignorance can only come with severe brain damage. otherwise, the words of our language trap our thoughts and guide our words and deeds towards ends tied up in the very deepest catacombs of the depths of linguistic vocabulary, grammar, syntax, and diction. languages produce a thought bias towards irrationality and foolishness. for example, the verb “to be” is too vague and nonspecific to carry definite, concrete, measurable meaning, as bill clinton famously pointed out with his queries about the meaning of “is”. the time dimension, as well as singular and plural, subject and object, the fact that verbs must convey some sort of action, and the social use of various nouns and adjectives for categorical nomenclature of all persons, places, and things, despite the continued use of homonyms and other troublesome words and idioms, these are many of the factors contributing to the general horribleness of human language. language is a dirty business, and not even the bible or the constitution can be read by 2 people and have them agree on what everything means, unless one of them is a syncophant or an illiterate. instead of pouring over ancient texts and debating the precise meanings of various strings of text, why not replace these archaic works of literature with new documents written in a new language, a language of precise meaning, with no double meanings, no confusion, and everything incredibly exact and purposeful. the language of purpose, of literality, with no idioms or double meanings, would be very carefully structured so that everything in that language would be incredibly exact. however, the danger lies in that such a language leads to another bias, of people stating that they know things which they do not know. we also need an expressive language, one full of implication and double meanings and many idioms and slang, with different degrees of expressing everything, with many different words that all mean slight variations of the same thing, to differing degrees. the expressive language for creative self-expression, and the exact, precise language for legal documents, religious texts, news articles, scientific papers, and the vast majority of works of non-fiction. english is not a good language for being exact and precise, because it only has one verb that means “to be”, and many many things in it lead to confusion and multiple meanings. how can we distinguish from a present, transient state that something finds itself in for the moment, and a permanent property that something has always had and always will have? in spanish, there are 2 verbs for “to be” (not counting another verb meaning “there is”): “ser” and “estar”. in this respect, spanish is a more precise language than english. this narrows the room for confusion but makes it harder for people to be deceptive while not uttering literal falsehoods. in english, people can use literal falsehoods for deception because of the confusing double-faced nature of the language, a very untrustworthy language. the fact that we have all of our laws in the united states written in english makes it quite easy for judges to interpret laws to mean whatever the hell they want, because our language is so loose and flexible and can mean anything. so, for making the various subjectives, or sub-objectives, which are part of the overall omniplan, or megaplan, or superplan, what is the best sort of language or wording to use? flexible language would allow for things to be changed at any time, so for dealing with changing circumstances, it is best to have flexible language. but if other people are to look at the language and interpret it (as happens with the constitution and the bible), things must be written in a very strict, inflexible language so as to prevent anything from being misinterpreted to mean anything other than what it was originally intended to mean. english is such a large language, a strict and inflexible language could be made from a subset of the english language, with every word strictly defined in a new sort of dictionary, one that is prescriptive and not descriptive. however, my sort of planning is the sort that wishes for flexibility, so with each of my objectives i will embrace the full fluidity of the english language, and all of the leeway for multiple-meaning text that this gives me. in fact, this very blog post is bursting at the seams with shameless exploitation of the weaknesses of the english language, tearing asunder all traditional rules for how the english language and various words ought to be used. i think i ought to invent a new literary device to describe what i am doing: creaxploitassonance is the word. creaxploitassonance means creating a new word for little or no reason and exploiting this fact to make an ass of yourself and confuse other people for your own amusement. i find it very rewarding, as do many other people. it is the constant use of creaxploitassonance that keeps adding more and more words to the english language. like the word “american” is problematic for me, since it can refer to a set of 2 continents, or to a single country. so i use creaxploitassonance to create the word “unitedstatesian”, which is not capitalized normally, as an adjective to refer to anything having to do with the united states of america. and american people can be called unitedstatesians, using the word as a noun. that way, the president of venezuela can condemn the unitedstatesian government without being called anti-american, because he is not anti-allofamerican. oh, and i also decided to use creaxploitassonance to invent the word “allofamerica”, along with the adjective “allofamerican”, both of which refer to the combination of north america, south america, and the caribbean islands in the gulf of mexico. so someone is only anti-allofamerican if they are opposed to allofamerica. this will be funny because now the iranians will have to chant “death to unitedstatesians” instead of “death to america”. the continued use of one word for america only solidifies the effects of the monroe doctrine and unitedstatesian imperialism against the non-unitedstatesian nations of allofamerica. but in the traditional, pre-creaxploitassonance english, it sounds ridiculous to talk about american imperialism against the non-american nations of america. so in some cases we need more words, not less, for the ultra-precise language i envision. but once such a language is devised, it will be the perfect language for super-logical and mega-ultra-rational thought and discussion. however, in the current crapshoot nonsense that is the english language, every choice of words is a gamble, since it could be taken the wrong way or misinterpreted. so one of my many sobjectives (sub-objectives, if you will) is to create this new ultra-hyper-mega-super-deluxe language to replace english. but it is not a high priority. you see, my ultimate purpose in life has now been established, and it is to pursue my mini-objectives as quickly and painlessly and efficiently as possible, but not all objectives are equally important. they must be prioritized so that they can be carried out in the proper order, and the proper order will not be known until afterwards, since the order in which things must be done can be rearranged at any time, for any reason. also, objectives can be added to or removed from the list at any time, for any reason. this is the ultimate strength of my ultimate purpose in life: it is infinitely flexible. it allows me to deal with any situation reality presents me with. but what preposition did i just end a sentence on? to boldly split infinitives is my duty. engrish is mole intelesting if you switch alound the r’s and the l’s, but it can be a rittre confusing to keep tlack of what you ale doing with arr the rettels. to create you must destroy, and vice versa, because nothing is ever truly created or destroyed; the amount of stuff always stays constant, but it is simply re-arranged all the time. you might think a tree no longer exists just because you cut it down and burned it and all that is left is ashes and smoke. but the mass of the original tree plus the oxygen used up in the fire equals the mass of the ashes and all the smoke that came out of the fire. the human brain has a finite amount of cells in a finite volume of space, with a finite blood supply, so naturally it can only hold a finite amount of information and think about a finite number of ideas. and all of human society has a limit to how many people can co-exist at the same time without starving to death, on this planet. so, there is a mathematical limit to the number of ideas that can simultaneously exist in all the minds of all the people on the entire planet. and that limit is never going to be reached, because of all the duplication of ideas between minds, through the nefarious process of communication. when ideas spread into new minds, they use up precious brain cells to store knowledge of these ideas, in each brain they infect. those brain cells can no longer be used to store other ideas. and so, the spread of knowledge destroys existing knowledge. the more we communicate with each other, the more each one of us forgets what we used to know beforehand. forgetfulness is the price we pay for modern civilization with its advanced communications. we need to be humble about our brain capacities and not stuff our brains full of useless data; it is far more useful to grasp abstract concepts and understand the general underlying rules that cause things to occur in the way that they do. expand the scope of your conscious mind and your capabilities for abstract reflective thought! forget useless memories and pointless things you memorized and have no need for anymore! put that wasted brain space to use again, thinking about things that matter now! that is what i do. and practice memorizing useful information that might actually come in handy, realistically. this will replace old memories you no longer need. i have forgotten the vast majority of the things that happened in my life (most of them were unimportant and uninteresting details that i had no reason to remember), and i am perfectly happy forgetting these things. i would rather learn from the examples of others than relive my own follies inside my mind. and so, that is what i do. and i realize now why i do not remember the names of other people. it is because i do not wish to overly concern myself with them or spend too much time thinking about them. i know what i want out of life, and i will remember the names of people who are important to me. if i can tell that someone is useless to me, i will make a point to forget who they are and if i do know their name i will find a way to forget it and forget about the person if possible. this is especially important with girls. i am easily seduced by seeing pretty girls, and if i know the name of one of them and see her with my eyes on a regular basis, this produces a sort of obsessive preoccupation with her in my mind. but i have found that, by not learning the name of a girl, or by forgetting it, i can prevent myself from thinking in words about her specifically, and thereby prevent any unhealthy obsession with someone who does not return my affection. i will reserve my ability of name-learning to those whom i at least get along with, or who are in important enough positions that they hold some sort of power over me. keeping a girl’s name out of my head has proven to me to be an effective tool in preventing the unrequited love scenarios that keep repeating again and again, year after year, with me having affection towards someone who does not return it. it is almost impossible to find someone whom you can feel affection towards and have them actually feel lots of affection towards you as well. why is this? i believe i have a situational deficit. i have, all of my life, suffered from a deficiency of being in situations where i socialize and meet new people. this situational deficiency is partially imposed on me by others (such as when someone chooses not to invite me to a party, etc.), but for the most part, it is actually a decision which i make, in how i choose to spend my time and what i decide to do, and whether i talk to certain people and what i say to them. it is, if you will, a self-imposed isolation, a prison of my own design, an isolation which i have instinctually cultivated all my life without even knowing why, and i have always had to fight against this impulse to be reclusive and avoid others. but with my new over-arching superplan, which is eternal, the ultimate purpose of my life, now i can examine my situation, define my problems, devise solutions, and implement them, within a structure that allows for changing my strategies and/or analyses to comport with new insights and new information. in the past i have been constantly plagued with self-sabotage in many forms, and a general laziness and opposition to change of any kind. this can now be addressed by a new intellectual framework which acknowledges these aspects of the current situation and strategically transitions to a more productive approach without any sudden changes in how i have to behave or anything difficult to adjust to. now i must define the terms of this transition strategy, and how i can shift from being lazy and sabotaging myself and resisting all change to being pro-active and able to do things productively and seek out success in my life without any internal opposition. for too long, i have battled against myself, internally, wrestling in my mind about what to do, and about many other things, and i have learned a lot, but now it is time for me to stop having internal disputes and start putting into action all of the things i have learned over the years. i have had situations where i had glimpses at my true potential, at my many aspects which allow me to have possibilities for much greater things than my current lowly status and empty, lonely lifestyle. i have seen how, at times, i can be quite charismatic, and influence other people, and even get people to like me and care about me. it is difficult to achieve, but i have gotten that far, sometimes. i have a capability for well-timed opportunistic deep emotional expression in order to manipulate other people into liking me and caring about me. it is quite difficult to achieve, though, because i have a natural habitual form of behaving around other people which alienates them and keeps me from making any friends. it requires constant effort to get around this. and i have an innate hostility and distrust towards others and it is hard to keep that from coming out, especially if someone does something to provoke me and i contain myself and refuse to rise to the bait, because then my negative emotions, my hatred and anger and self-loathing and misery, all of them gradually build up to explosive levels if i do not express them to others. but i have such a fear of expressing my negative emotions towards others, because i do not want to be mean and then have them not like me. it is quite difficult for me, because my objective in human relations is for everyone to like me as much as i can possibly get them to like me, and for as few people as possible to dislike me. it is a constant struggle to win over people, because i am quite bad at it and need a lot more practice before i am any good. but how can i have a close, loving relationship with one person, if i cannot even get people to like me at all? there is nothing worse to me than having someone else dislike me, because i always find myself agreeing with them, and disliking myself even more than anyone else does. it is such a struggle. i wish i had some lovin’. ugh, i hate myself. pathetic. get a life! stop writing in the stupid blog and go out and do something, stupid! i suck so bad. oh well. maybe nothing ever changes because part of me doesn’t want anything to ever change. congratulations! now i get to be a complete loser forever. at least part of me is happy, getting exactly what it wants. i wonder if i actually can change things. i am so lacking in willpower, it is doubtful. every time i have ever tried before, i have failed miserably, so what makes me think it can be any different this time? either way, i am a failure. either a failure who tried and failed, or a failure who gave up and never tried again. it’s all the same anyway: failure is failure regardless of how it comes to pass. but if i try, at least there was some possibility of success, and at least i demonstrate some positive character trait in the form of courage. as if that would ever happen. what a joke. to hell with this bullshit. who am i kidding? nobody. writing in this blog is a complete waste of time. and so is everything else i do. i give up. who cares? whatever...