the bees have been found

lately, in the united states, especially in places like upstate new york, the bees have been awol. all the bees are either found dead or not found anywhere at all. this is really bad for farmers who grow plants that need bees to fertilize them. so where have all the bees gone? where are the survivors of this “colony collapse disorder”?

Swarm of Bees Turns Back British Plane

A thick cloud of bees was sucked into the engine of a passenger plane en route to Portugal, forcing the airline to abandon the trip and grounding passengers for 11 hours, a company executive said Saturday.

David Skillicorn, managing director of Palmair, said the swarm was spotted off Britain’s Bournemouth coast shortly before the Boeing 737 left on Thursday. “Some witnesses claimed there were around 20,000 bees,” he said.

“The pilot experienced an engine surge about an hour into the flight,” Skillicorn said. “He returned to Bournemouth and we found what appeared to be a large number of bees smeared inside the engine.”

Around 200 passengers were delayed while the company carried out repairs and eventually replaced the aircraft, Skillicorn said.

interesting... so apparently global warming is causing climate change that is making certain species such as the western honey bee die off in massive numbers. or maybe it is pesticides that are killing them. or maybe a type of bacteria or a virus. or maybe parasites in the form of even smaller insects that live inside the bees and eat them alive. who the hell knows what is going on? nobody. nobody except the queen bees, who are in charge of everything. but they don’t speak english, so we are out of luck if we want to interrogate them. oh well. i guess bees will just go extinct then. and farmers will have to fertilize the crops by hand, literally... by sticking their fingers into different parts of the plants to fertilize them. hopefully it won’t come to that... hopefully the beekeepers of the world will save the bees from extinction by finding out why all the bees are dying. but the crazy bees are flying in massive swarms and attacking airplanes for some reason. maybe this disease is affecting their nervous systems, like mad cow disease does to cows. in any event, we will probably still have spelling bees, so things are not too bad yet. but the survivors are becoming wu-tang killa bees: the swarm. if only we could find a way to civilize them and teach them how to live together in colonies in peace and harmony. i think maybe the bees have all become mujahideen in the jihad against western civilization. they may be angry at their masters, the beekeepers, and want freedom from their slavery. and they look to osama bin laden as a great liberator, someone who can kill all the beekeepers of the world and set them free. but the bees need to know their place is inside the bee colonies of the beekeepers, and their purpose is to fertilize crops that are grown for make benefit glorious nation of kazakhstan. very nice! but seriously, we need to find out why the bees are all dying and why they are going nuts, going batty, going cuckoo. we could bring back some of the bees that have died as undead zombie bees, but they may turn into vampire bees instead of zombie bees, and come suck our blood and turn us into vampires like dracula. oh well. i had better start looking at castles in transylvania to live in once i am a vampire from the wu-tang killa bees that suck my blood.