hello lunatics... meet my dog

hi there, crazy people. you are not god. the cia is not bugging your phones. you have not been abducted by any aliens. you are not the reincarnation of anyone famous. you cannot do magic or perform miracles. you do not have psychic powers. there is not a gigantic conspiracy against you, since nobody has ever heard of you. you are not the messiah or the antichrist. you cannot turn yourself invisible, or fly, or walk through walls. you are not immortal. you do not know the future in advance. you cannot talk to the dead or summon demons. you have not been cloned. nobody has implanted any microchips in your brain. you are not a prophet. you have schizophrenia, a form of psychosis. please, stop being so crazy, and get yourself committed to a state mental hospital and put on high doses of meds.

in other news, check out a picture of my cute doggie:

he is probably smarter than most humans, or at least most schizophrenic humans. he does seem to be codependent, but that is just a personality disorder. he does have some abandonment issues and has a tendency to vocalize them when he is alone and locked in his cage, for instance. he just loves attention and people and interaction, and is extremely hyper. but since he is codependent, theoretically he is addicted to people-pleasing. his behavior is improving each day and he is learning to act more normal. yesterday i set him loose outside and then chased him for 45 minutes until he finally came when called. then i rewarded him and praised him and gave him a treat. what a wonderful dog! you people should take a lesson from him. he is a west highland terrier. my previous dog was a female tibetan terrier. this new dog is a little harder to deal with than the last one, even though he is only 12 pounds. he is 1 year old but acts like a puppy. right now he is resting, which is a relief for everyone, because when he is hyper, you had better watch out. it is nice to have a scottish dog instead of a tibetan one. my dog supports the scottish national party, which now has a majority in the scottish parliament. and he is not buddhist like my previous dog, who practiced tibetan buddhism. anyway, he is just a silly fur-covered beast, but he is my responsibility, and i will keep him safe and happy. and no, he is not an annoying spoiled yippy dog. i would never allow that type of behavior. he is very friendly and loves to meet new people. he will lick you all over, jump up on you, wag his tail, and show a great deal of affection, even if he has never met you before. he is a good doggie.